NudiEnomics

So it seems that stripping has become a lucrative career path. Yes, I mean taking off your clothes and dancing around a pole. Apparently, women impacted by this incredibly crappy economy are shaking their money-makers—literally. And, they are making huge bucks!

I found the news reports about this latest trend interesting and somewhat entertaining. White collar working women are making extra money on the side-- which in some cases can be six figures! I didn't put much more thought into this latest trend until recently when a friend mentioned she was checking out the 'adult entertainment' industry as a potential path.

At first, I thought it was a joke. But she was serious, she had already done some research. Research? Like, finding out the average salary range, the credentials required, and who’s hiring? I listened. I understood the points she made. And, then, when she said, “But, I don’t think I can do it”, I let out a sigh of relief. “I don't think you should do it,” I said.

Was I right to insert that opinion? I’ve been thinking about it a lot since that conversation. Who am I to tell another person what she can or can not do? Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess…I don’t know. What would I do?

After much thought, I would have to say, if I were in need of money I would shy away from taking center stage as a pole dancer. Mainly because the thought of being naked in a crowd feels more like a bad dream (you know the one, you are standing in the train station or sitting in a class and realize you forgot to get dressed-- or, am I the only one that's had that dream?)The other big reason pole dancing is not in my immediate future is because I can't dance-- which I believe is a prerequisite.

So, as you can tell, I've already put some thought into this. My question to you is: How do you feel about the “from jobless to topless” trend? What would you do?

-Steph

Word Up

We all know what a ‘Cougar’ is by now: “A woman in her 40s on the hunt for a younger man”. But do you know what a ‘Googar’ is? “A Grandma cougar. A hot lady in her 50s or 60s that is on the prowl for a younger man.”

I got that definition straight from the Urban dictionary, an online resource for all things slang. It is filled with definitions of words and phrases-- most of which you’d never find in Webster’s-- that are informative, funny and, yes, sometimes very offensive. Overall, it’s rather entertaining.

Here are some examples of my expanding vocabulary: a ‘sargasm’ is a sarcastic exaggeration, the end-all of sarcasm, a sarcastic climax, so to speak. “Flirtexting” is the art of flirting through your Blackberry or phone, and “déjà moo” is the feeling you’ve heard this bullshit before (among other definitions, this is not a G-rated site).

I stumbled upon this site after trying to figure out what the hell “make hay while the sun shines” means. A quick Google search and I found out, but then I got ‘googledrift’ (to drift aimlessly between subjects of interest by finding them accidently on the web), and I got sucked into a new world of words.

So, I’ve just wasted an hour clicking around and laughing. But, finding new words can be fun. And laughing, I just realized, is never a waste of time!

L8r ladies (l8r: a chat expression for ‘later’).

-Steph

Hard Time Hovering

I just read a really interesting article in the Boston Globe on “helicopter parents”. It caught my eye only because I just heard that term for the first time while chatting with a friend a few weeks ago. It seems there’s a helicopter movement out there that I was completely unaware of. And, after reading the article, I understand why.

I am NOT a helicopter parent. I don’t ‘hover’, and I definitely don’t over-parent. As a single mother, with a full-time career, a budding business, and a small side job, I depend upon my 13 year old daughter and my 15 year old son to be responsible and make the right decisions. To be clear, they don’t always make the right decision. As teens, 8 out of 10 times they make the wrong decision. And I will be there to guide them, to show them the way, to allow them to learn from their experiences—and mistakes-- and grow into a competent young adult. But, I won’t hold their hands the entire time.

I’m more like an F-35 Joint Strike Fighter kind of parent.

The F-35 JSF is an affordable, supportable, and survivable craft designed for the battlespace of the future. A product of the Department of Defense, there are nine nations collaborating on the multi-year development and demonstration of this product.

If you don’t get the analogy, let me explain:

First, while I so loved to coddle my kids when they were young, now it’s my job to prepare them for the future. It’s a tough world out there and they better be ready to fight for themselves, because I can’t do it for them. I’ve got my own battle. I’m moving at warp speed every day to keep this family going.

Second, I know I can’t do this alone, so I enlist my family and friends to help me raise these little freedom fighters-- much like the DoD has done by inviting nine nations to help with 'development'.

Don’t get too caught up in the military lingo, here, as I’m definitely not looking for my kids to ship off overseas into another—more literal—battleground. I’m just raising them to be independent, strong-willed, likeable, empathetic human beings, whom, I hope, are directed by an ethical moral compass. And, eventually will learn how to support themselves, and not live off of Mommy until they are 30 years old. This family is affordable, supportable, and survivable and ready for the future.

I hope that doesn’t sound like tough love. It’s not. I love my kids with all my heart. I give them everything they need and want. I don’t want to see them hurt or in pain or struggling. But I challenge them to challenge themselves.

No more handholding. It’s time to take to the sky and learn how to fly!

-Steph

Sweet Tweets!

If you haven’t jumped on the social networking/blogging bandwagon, let us give you a push onto the platform, ‘cause the train is leaving the station and it’s moving at high speed! What am I talking about? I have no idea, and its okay, I don’t have to know what I’m talking about, I’m a blogger!

Today, however, I’m going to try to educate SSW/Wink readers on the latest technology time-stealer. It’s called Twitter. And while I’m still trying to figure it out, I’m starting to get the hang of it, and I think I’ve got the Twitter bug!

Twitter is a micro-blogging service that allows you to send out short messages (146 characters) called “tweets”. You send the tweets to your peeps (oh, this is way too easy!) who sign up to follow you. You can get the messages on the website www.twitter.com or you can request to have them sent to your phone (like a text message).

The types of messages you receive will typically be uninteresting activities that friends think you ‘must know’. For example, “Just finished lunch” could be a typical tweet. Which, nobody really cares about. But, say you are following Kathleen Sullivan, our Wink South fashion correspondent, who is at Fashion Week in NYC and tweets this message to the world: “Hold on to your 80s outfits, shoulder pads are back en vogue!” Now that might be an interesting tidbit, no? Timely information that you can really use!

Or, I’ve heard stories like this: A guy gets off a plane in Chicago, sends a Twitter message that he’s, “In O’Hare with 4 hour delay”. He gets a tweet back that his friend is in the same airport. They meet for a drink at the airport bar. So, it turns out, Twitter is not a complete waste of time!

In fact, I’m here to tell you that in the world we live in, social networking via the Web is the only way to go. If you don’t get it, I suggest you try to figure it out. Not only does it keep people connected while juggling very hectic lives, but our kids are growing up with this. To them, communicating via instant message and Twitter is second nature. They blog, they post YouTube videos, and they create Facebook communities.

We here at SSW/Wink South are doing the same thing. We started with the Wink South Blog (which you are reading!). We established a presence on Facebook (join the South Shore Woman group to plug in with crafty SoB women-- that’s South of Boston). And, we created Daily Cravings-- which gives you easy access to menu and daily specials from local restaurants—in which the restaurant members also get their own blog—check out The Chef’s Table blog, and chime in to get the party started.

Blogging is the best way to find out what’s really going on because there’s no journalistic integrity associated with it whatsoever, it’s all about your opinion with a dash of personality!

So blog, and follow us on Twitter! (see link to the right). Whether you’re just nosey, or you are interested in finding out about some of the cool stuff we see and people we meet each month as we are updating the SSW/WinkSouth site, you can’t beat the tweet! We’ll fill you in. And, as always, we’ll have fun!!!!!


-Steph

Resolutions I Can Actually Keep

Every January 1st it’s that same stupid promise I make to myself to lose ten pounds. I’m really going to do it this time, I tell all my friends. What a load of crap. I’m lying! I might lose five here or there, but it all comes home to mama—that is, back to my butt-- in the month of November and December.

How about some resolutions I can keep, like, this year I resolve to:

-Buy the right bra size.

-Stop shopping online after having a few cocktails.

-Make an appointment with a threader on the south shore (read the last blog if you have no idea what I’m talking about).

-Find that cute yoga instructor guy who popped into the hot yoga class one day to help us with our ‘positions’. While in my downward facing dog, he ‘positioned’ himself behind me to ‘fix’ my pose. Now that was hot.

-Go to a tarot card reader to find out my life’s destiny.

-Talk to strangers.

-Spend more time at the beach this summer.

-Eat salt and vinegar potato chips when I crave them.

-Shower every day.

-Bring my dog to the vet to finally figure out what that thing is that’s growing near her butt.


There! That’s ten things that I can actually do this year. Much better than “losing weight”…who needs it!

So, what are you gonna do?

-Steph

Brow Beating

Sometimes waxing should be left to the professionals.

As the holidays approached, I took a good look in the mirror and realized that my Italian heritage was catching up with me. Hairy arms, hairy eyebrows, hairy lip…ugh. And, it’s the middle of the friggin winter, so no hiding behind a tan. I didn’t have the time to go to the salon for a facial and professional waxing so I decided to take it on myself.

Over the years I’ve become quite good at fixing the lip-stache. I remember years ago calling up my best friend, Tracy, in total embarrassment that I had a “lip problem”.

“I’m a freak! Oh, my God, I have to take care of this ‘situation’…what do I do?” I pleaded.

She laughed, because, although she and I are the same age (okay, she’s six months younger than I), she is far more worldly than I.

“Honey,” she laughed, “Go get a wax job. Everyone does it!”

“Do you?” I asked in amazement.

“Of course!” she confirmed without flinching.

Oh, so, I’m not a freak? That was an enlightening moment. And one that I look back on with complete admiration (I love my friend for telling me the truth), fascination (why had I not thought of this myself), and humble-ation (I am what I am).

Wax, since then, has become a close and personal friend of mine (lip, arms, bikini)…Hallelujah!

My eyebrows, however, are unchartered territory. I find that to hurt the worst (I know, go figure). And, therefore, I avoid it. But, there I stood looking at that ‘almost unibrow’ in the mirror, and I had to act fast.

I heated up the wax in the microwave, plastered on the stickers from the box that show you how your brows should be, and started slabbing on the goo above the left eye to get rid of that ‘mess’. This is gonna be great. Oh, how wrong was I?

Okay, well, the slab-on was painless, the pull-off was not only painful but took most of my brow with it! I couldn’t stop it. That yellow wax had adhered itself to almost every follicle and the yank off not only made me scream in pain, but when I looked at the clump in my hand I was holding what appeared to be a creepy caterpillar. I looked at my eyebrow. Not a lot of hair left with a couple of bald spots!

Okay, so now I have a bald brow and a hairy brow, the only way to fix it is to have two bald brows…right?

Well, as I’m applying the same procedure to the right side I notice that the wax is dripping…On my damn eyelashes!!!...That is the only part of my face that I actually want hair!!!!!! Stop!

I stop, and start trying to pull it off my eyelashes but it’s already adhered itself. (Mother F-er!!). That’s what I yelled (in full). I finished up the right brow and had to call it a night.

I had yellow wax hanging off of my eyelashes for at least three days. Thank God for mascara. It’s gone now, taking a few more of my lashes with it, and from now on I’m going to the salon for the brow wax. Unless someone has a secret to this that they can share…Cause I can’t figure it out.


-Steph

A Holiday Hater’s 12-Step Program

For many years now, the holiday season has felt like a hassle to me. I do have faint childhood memories of being super-excited to jump out of bed at 5:00 a.m. to see what jolly old St. Nick had left for me under the tree. And, when my kids were small, I did have fun staying up until the wee hours of the morning to make sure Santa wrapped everything just right, and each kid got equal amounts of goodies under the tree and in their stocking. I’d make sure Santa had a bite of his peanut butter kiss cookie, and a sip of milk. I admit, I used to find Christmas Eve enchanting.

Now, the grumpy old scrooge that I have become loathes the season, seeing it purely as an expensive party that I have neither the time nor money for. Horrible, I know.

I think the problem is that I’m a procrastinator. (That’s a huge thing to own up to, so I expect someone to give me an ‘at a girl’ pat on the back!). And, as a result, I’m often late. Late for meetings, late for deadlines, late to pick up the kids from practice, late to arrive for a dinner party, and, oh, I’m always running against the clock to catch a plane. It’s stressful. Why do I do that to myself? Do I have too much to do? Have I not figured out the concept of time? Am I scatter-brained? Irresponsible? I hope not. I don’t think I am. I guess it’s my own little character flaw that I now must deal with. And, I’m going to start dealing with it by dealing with Christmas.

Every year I’m the lady who is rolling up to the tree farm a week before Christmas to find the best leftover evergreen available. I’m also the woman who is barreling through the mall two days before the big day with three shopping bags in each hand, sweating and swearing as I push my way through the crowd. One year, while waiting for a car to pull out of a parking spot so that I could pull in (blinker on and all), this nasty little elf of a woman scooted in to the spot before me. I patiently waited for her to get out of the car and extended my warm wishes for the holiday season by shouting, “Merry Christmas, you bitch!”.

Oh no, what have I become?! I’m like the nightmare before Christmas.

I just realized how pathetic I am. Last year, I don’t think I even put any decorations up other than a wreath and some candles in the window. And it’s been years since I sent out Christmas cards.

I want to be like my friend who called the other day to let me know she finished all of her Christmas shopping. She’s had her decorations out since a week before Thanksgiving, and she seems peaceful and happy as the holidays approach.

You know what they say, before you can fix a problem, you have to acknowledge that you have one. I’m a holiday-hater. There, I said it. I’ve hit my rock bottom, and, I want to change. Not for anyone else, but for me.

I’m finally ready to start my 12-step program for the 12 days of Christmas.

I’m going to:
1.) Set up decorations.
2.) Start my shopping.
3.) Get the tree this weekend (or maybe next weekend).
4.) Send out Christmas cards (with a photo of the kids).
5.) Play Christmas music.
6.) Host a holiday party.
7.) Give gifts from the heart.
8.) Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
9.) Pray for peace on earth.
10.) Bake cookies for Santa.
11.) Hug my kids.
12.) Go to church and remember the real meaning of the season.

I’m tired of allowing Christmas to stress me out. This year, it’s going to be merry!

Ho ho ho.

-Steph