Every January 1st it’s that same stupid promise I make to myself to lose ten pounds. I’m really going to do it this time, I tell all my friends. What a load of crap. I’m lying! I might lose five here or there, but it all comes home to mama—that is, back to my butt-- in the month of November and December.
How about some resolutions I can keep, like, this year I resolve to:
-Buy the right bra size.
-Stop shopping online after having a few cocktails.
-Make an appointment with a threader on the south shore (read the last blog if you have no idea what I’m talking about).
-Find that cute yoga instructor guy who popped into the hot yoga class one day to help us with our ‘positions’. While in my downward facing dog, he ‘positioned’ himself behind me to ‘fix’ my pose. Now that was hot.
-Go to a tarot card reader to find out my life’s destiny.
-Talk to strangers.
-Spend more time at the beach this summer.
-Eat salt and vinegar potato chips when I crave them.
-Shower every day.
-Bring my dog to the vet to finally figure out what that thing is that’s growing near her butt.
There! That’s ten things that I can actually do this year. Much better than “losing weight”…who needs it!
So, what are you gonna do?
-Steph
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2 comments:
Steph, I finally have a New Year's resolution. I am going start to wearing makeup so people don't tilt their head when they see me and say, "Hhmm . . . Have you been able to sleep at all lately?" I realized it was definitely time to break out the cosmetics Thursday night. I was helping Brendan with his homework. He did every last math problem and every last spelling word with my eye liner. And I didn't even know it was my eye liner! Thank God I have a thirteen-year-old daughter to keep me in check.
E
I am so glad I found this blog.
Steph, you are a riot!
Miss ya!
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