A Holiday Hater’s 12-Step Program

For many years now, the holiday season has felt like a hassle to me. I do have faint childhood memories of being super-excited to jump out of bed at 5:00 a.m. to see what jolly old St. Nick had left for me under the tree. And, when my kids were small, I did have fun staying up until the wee hours of the morning to make sure Santa wrapped everything just right, and each kid got equal amounts of goodies under the tree and in their stocking. I’d make sure Santa had a bite of his peanut butter kiss cookie, and a sip of milk. I admit, I used to find Christmas Eve enchanting.

Now, the grumpy old scrooge that I have become loathes the season, seeing it purely as an expensive party that I have neither the time nor money for. Horrible, I know.

I think the problem is that I’m a procrastinator. (That’s a huge thing to own up to, so I expect someone to give me an ‘at a girl’ pat on the back!). And, as a result, I’m often late. Late for meetings, late for deadlines, late to pick up the kids from practice, late to arrive for a dinner party, and, oh, I’m always running against the clock to catch a plane. It’s stressful. Why do I do that to myself? Do I have too much to do? Have I not figured out the concept of time? Am I scatter-brained? Irresponsible? I hope not. I don’t think I am. I guess it’s my own little character flaw that I now must deal with. And, I’m going to start dealing with it by dealing with Christmas.

Every year I’m the lady who is rolling up to the tree farm a week before Christmas to find the best leftover evergreen available. I’m also the woman who is barreling through the mall two days before the big day with three shopping bags in each hand, sweating and swearing as I push my way through the crowd. One year, while waiting for a car to pull out of a parking spot so that I could pull in (blinker on and all), this nasty little elf of a woman scooted in to the spot before me. I patiently waited for her to get out of the car and extended my warm wishes for the holiday season by shouting, “Merry Christmas, you bitch!”.

Oh no, what have I become?! I’m like the nightmare before Christmas.

I just realized how pathetic I am. Last year, I don’t think I even put any decorations up other than a wreath and some candles in the window. And it’s been years since I sent out Christmas cards.

I want to be like my friend who called the other day to let me know she finished all of her Christmas shopping. She’s had her decorations out since a week before Thanksgiving, and she seems peaceful and happy as the holidays approach.

You know what they say, before you can fix a problem, you have to acknowledge that you have one. I’m a holiday-hater. There, I said it. I’ve hit my rock bottom, and, I want to change. Not for anyone else, but for me.

I’m finally ready to start my 12-step program for the 12 days of Christmas.

I’m going to:
1.) Set up decorations.
2.) Start my shopping.
3.) Get the tree this weekend (or maybe next weekend).
4.) Send out Christmas cards (with a photo of the kids).
5.) Play Christmas music.
6.) Host a holiday party.
7.) Give gifts from the heart.
8.) Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
9.) Pray for peace on earth.
10.) Bake cookies for Santa.
11.) Hug my kids.
12.) Go to church and remember the real meaning of the season.

I’m tired of allowing Christmas to stress me out. This year, it’s going to be merry!

Ho ho ho.

-Steph